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Fishy's First Run

by Pilchard

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1.
Rugby 02:15
i used to play rugby i don't play now my knees are knobby my uniform's worn out words lost from static you said on the phone i miss them more than you'll ever know and i'm sorry i don't play anymore i miss the game more than ever before and i'm sorry i don't call anymore you sound nothing like you did before and neither do i rooting for the underdog and it's weird because it's me this time rooting for the underdog and it's weird because it's me this time i used to be the MVP now i'm on the bench and can't be seen black specks on concrete used to be sweet but burned and dried up in the heat and i'm sorry i don't play anymore i miss the game more than ever before and I'm sorry i don't call anymore you sound nothing like you did before and neither do i
2.
Ivory 01:45
Black and white, I'll play tonight By my side to remind me I'm alive. You make me wanna say, Ooh eee ooh ah ah, ching chang walla walla bing bang Ooh eee, ooh ah ah, ching chang walla walla bing bang Ivory, you'll outlive me. Ivory, you'll outlive me. Touch of yellow, I'll be all grey. You are mine today.
3.
Jump on de horse cowboi, and do yo best. Lie lie lie lie, lie lie lie lie, lie lie lie lie, you and I Standing next to me by the computer. Lie lie lie lie lie.
4.
Zoloft 01:55
Not one line. But you're here for me all the time. Fill pages about the past, for those who didn't last. Not all relics are monuments, Whatever you do, water the tree of trust, and see who you must, What do you love about me that doesn't have to do with you? relics are monuments, Whatever you do, water the tree of trust, and see who you must, What do you love about me that doesn't have to do with you? Zoloft, wean off. Wean off your zoloft. Not one line.
5.
Scrabble 01:32
I hear you knocking at the door, and you know I will answer even though I don't wanna. Do you want to play scrabble with me? Maybe you'll feel better. I know it'll be okay. Stop saying it every day.
6.
Free Wi-Fi 02:35
Free Wi-Fi for paying customers. I'm stupid and you are a nerd. I heard you when you said. You'd rather be dead. Free Wi-Fi for paying customers. Throat's closing, I thought that you heard me try to tell you I care. Still learning that life's not fair. But we had a good time, yeah we had a good time, we did. Free Wi-Fi, why don't you pay? Free Wi-Fi, goodbye for today.
7.
Look! Free Wi-Fi for paying customers. I'm stupid and you are a nerd. I heard you when you said. You'd rather be alone instead. Free Wi-Fi for paying customers. Throat's closing, I thought that you heard me try to tell you I care. Still learning that life's not fair. But we had a good time, yeah we had a good time, we did. Free Wi-Fi, why don't you pay? Free Wi-Fi, goodbye for today. Free Wi-Fi, why don't you pay? Free Wi-Fi, goodbye for today. Free Wi-Fi for paying customers. I'm stupid and you are a nerd. I heard you when you said. You'd rather be alone instead. But we had a good time, yeah we had a good time, we did. we had a good time, yeah we had a good time, we did.
8.
9.
You’ve never been mean to me, Other than joking that I'm gay. I don't care about that. I like the attention. You’ve never been mean to me? “Were you drunk when you made that bandcamp page”? Probably benign, I know. But that’s the kind of thing that hurts. You’ve never been mean to me, I wish my voice was better, I cant breathe through my nose, and my breath smells like shit. You’ve never been mean to me? “was i drunk when i made that bandcamp page”? No I wasn't. I had fun. Am i drunk now? Yes i am. I am. I am. I am. I am. Bleep bloop it is, I know. 3 chords. I know. I know. I know. 2 years. Take my effort lightly and I’ll melt. I want to feel like I should keep trying, I’m a straw in a sea turtle's nose. Breathe in breathe out breathe in. Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it. Would i ever joke about your writing? A careful delicate opinion, maybe. But would I laugh? Never. I’d never wanna shut you down. I know I’ve been mean to you. Sometimes it boils over. It feels so fucking lame. To put you down for who you are. I’d never wanna shut you down. and I love your writing.
10.
11.
Tropi-Choppy 01:27
12.
Slopes 01:44
it was the way dad held my hand a little tighter than i was used to. it was me thinking i wasn't treated the way i was raised to... while i stare at shoes, in class, this world doesn't stop without you. and i know and i know and i know our slopes and i know and i know and i know our slopes we can go out on the boat, just like the kids do. you put my life jacket on first, that's how we were raised to... and if the sun will hurt our eyes, we'll just smile through. and i know and i know and i know our slopes and i know and i know and i know our slopes
13.
Pop Tart 00:53
14.
Helena 03:57
helena, she comes into the restaurant all the time, with her overweight girlfriend and her ipad, and she tells me that she gave up poetry a long time ago, and she cried when she said that. how am I supposed to listen to myself, when everyone's talking at me and i feel my structure melt away when anybody asks: "why do you think you want to do that?" just stick with it, for a little bit, even when you feel like a fucking fraud, trust that it's part of your overarching plan for structure, and independence, and the development of an applicable skill set. i was asked last night, "you're smart, but what do you like?" i've done this sort of thing before. i'll try to learn more. someone told you it was a bad idea to change your mind, but you did, but you did, but you did, but you did, but you did. someone told me it was a good idea to change your mind, and I'm proud of you 'cause you did, 'cause you did, 'cause you did. i was running down the street, towards the beach, away from me. i saw a sign. it said: "we want to feel safe, please don't mess this up for us." no trespassing, private property. no trespassing, private property. and I don't want to try your LSD or your mushrooms, although it sounds pretty fun, i can't risk that... i gotta feel safe. i gotta feel safe. don't mess this up for me. la la la la la dee da da. look at the sunset. la de da da. look at the sunrise. la la la. la la la la la dee da da. look at the sunset. la la la la look at the sunrise.
15.
you'll be fine, cause the people you love and the people you trust won't die. you'll be fine, cause the people you love and the people you trust won't die. what's one more cigarette? delude yourself. what's one more cigarette? you're healthy. what's one more cigarette? delude yourself. delude yourself. it's healthy. you'll be fine, if the people you love and the people you trust don't die. you'll be fine, if the people you love and the people you trust don't die. don't die. believe in god. believe in something. believe in god. believe in something. delude yourself. it's healthy. delude yourself. you're healthy. what's one more cigarette? you're healthy. you're healthy.
16.
Invisalign 01:58
oh invisalign, what a hypocrite am i, i poke fun at my mom all the time, she's a kid but so am i. oh invisalign, how you must wish you were mine, you're wishy washy all the time, and i know and i know i don't think about you anymore. no more. no more. no more. oh invisalign, how you must wish you were mine. oh invisalign, how you must wish you were mine.
17.
Oh I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you again. I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I need your attention. I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you again. I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I need more attention. I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I coming for you and 20 others. I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you, I need attention. I'm calling you, I'm calling you, I'm calling you, and you pick up. I'm calling you again, I'm calling you again, I'm calling you again, and you pick up. I'm coming for you, again. I'm coming for you and 20 others. Someone told you it was a bad idea to pick up your phone. But you did. But you did. But you did. I'm coming for you again. I'm coming for you again. I'm coming for you again. I'm coming for you and 20 others. I'm coming for you. I'm sorry. I'm coming for you. Welcome to my party. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. But not only you. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. I'm coming on you. I'm coming in you. I'm coming by you. I'm coming to you. I'm coming at you. I'm coming on you. I'm coming. Where am I? I'm coming.
18.
come meet my friend i wanna keep your friend you've been a good friend and she's in a dead end come meet my friend i wanna keep your friend he wants to be with her and i don't wanna lose him come meet my friend why'd you leave what don't you like and when do you start, again? come eat, my friend. come eat, my friend. come eat, my friend. come eat, my friend.
19.
PNC^2 01:02
20.
Dream of Me 01:21
21.
Out-Tro 01:08

credits

released September 14, 2018

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Pilchard Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Dear living diary...

it's me, again!

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